Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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