everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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