i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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