I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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