i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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