what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
