Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
