they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize