My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
