Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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