i don't like sucking hair
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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