How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
