So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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