Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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