oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
