U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
