You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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