I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize