i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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