i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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