It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize