he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
