He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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