Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
