what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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