if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
