just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
