I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
