Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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