my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
