idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
