Your dad touched me again.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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