Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
