If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
