im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
