Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My dick has a subreddit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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