We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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