i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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