is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
