you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize