i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
