You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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