drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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