guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
