It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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