You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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