if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
