as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
