He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
