I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
