Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
