You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
