woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize