am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
