Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
me + whiskey = a bad person
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Terrible idea I love it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
