No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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