carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this boner is exhausting
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
